Cabs

Any night I work past 7 o'clock, which is a lot more than I would like to admit, I get to take a cab home. Cabs are funny things. The idea of having someone drive you wherever your heart desires makes you feel like one of the elite or royalty. But the actual experience is far from it.

Cabs smell. They do. There is no denying it. No matter what ethnicity the driver is or what kind of car it is it's a smelly experience. The smell is usually a weird hybrid of cheap car air-freshener and a full grown man's body odor. Look, don't get me wrong, if I sat in an enclosed space for 12 hours a day I'd stink that thing up too. It's inevitable. If you've never experienced cab odor all you have to do is not shower for 2 days, stick a bar of soap up against your arm pit, and then sniff both at the same time. There you go, cab odor.

They never want to take credit cards. They only want cash. One time I owed a driver $20 when I told him I wanted to pay by card he freaked out and practically begged me to pay him in cash. I only had $10. He took it, no hesitation. Are the percentages being taken away from these credit card transactions that big that they'd rather take 1/2 of what I really owe them? That system seems flawed.

Cab drivers are always doing two things: Listening to really loud and weird techno music, and having a phone conversation with someone in a different language. But they're no normal conversations. They're at least 4 hours long (trust me I've peeked at their screens) and the driver is talking in the quietest voice ever. Like he is trying to keep whatever he is saying a secret. First off, who is talking to these guys for 4 hours? And why are they being so quiet about it. Maybe they're talking about how some young white kid just got in their cab and they bet he is going to want to pay me with a credit card.

Last, but not least, cabs are scary dangerous. It seems that every night I get in one I have stepped into an action thriller movie where the driver knows about a bomb on the other side of town and there is a timer counting down the end of civilization as we know it. I watched a cab get up to 80 MPH on service streets. I've gotten slightly, and sometimes more than slightly, car-sick in just about every cab ride home. Can't we just slow down a little. I'll stop trying to listen in on your whispered conversation I can't understand anyway.

Till next time (which I hope isn't too far away). Oh, and for those of you out there already playing Christmas music, please reference isitchristmas.com. There you go. Wait till after Thanksgiving. Give thanks then you can have over a month of holly jolly musical cheer. I am not a Scrooge. I love Christmas. It is one of my most favorite holidays all year. I just think it's getting a little crazy that Christmas creeps out as early as Halloween. If this continues soon we'll be singing songs about some Pumpkin-headed Turkey Claus in the month of Octonovemcember. Respect Thanksgiving. Bye.

The Windy City and Uncle Leo

I have been in Chicago for over three months now. So I'm basically a local, right? This is a fascinating city. The architecture still has me looking up and the food makes me feel like I've finally found that place my stomach has been rumbling for my whole life. It's been great and I am happy I am here. My Ladygirl and I are loving it even if we are poor and don't really know how to be adults yet. What does a 401K do exactly?

On August 27th I started as a Junior Copywriter at Leo Burnett. After a 10-week internship I was offered a job to start working on the Allstate Team. This has all been so unreal. I still can't believe it's happening. I have been working for three weeks and I am still waiting for someone to walk up and tell me to get out of their desk.

For any of you who don't know about Leo Burnett feel free to check out a previous post I did when I was offered the internship about their work. I am extremely lucky to get my foot in the door of this industry through such an amazing agency. So far, it's been a lot of hard work. I have one campaign done and under my belt. It's a local campaign so you probably won't see any of it (Yes, it really does exist. I'm not just saying that to cover up that it isn't real). But, I am working hard on some great projects, and who knows, maybe they'll take one of the weird ideas that comes out of this Manboy's head and turn it into a commercial or something. Crazier things have happened... right?

Well, hope you enjoyed this quick update on Manboy. Stay tuned for new posts coming soon. Here is a little hint at what my next post will be about. What's yellow, goes about 85 mph at all times, and smells like the hybrid of cheap car air fresheners and extreme BO? Yep, you guessed. Taxis!

My Thoughts On My Current Thoughts

What if I wrote down every thought I had? It took me a couple tries to type the word "thought" in that last sentence so I just thought, "Wow, I really can't type today." Now I'm thinking this kind of a blog post might be a mistake. No one cares what I'm thinking. But how do I know that? I keep a majority of my thoughts to myself. What if my thoughts are simply fascinating and the world is just dying to hear what I am thinking.

Someone just walked by with pizza and its smell made me think of how badly I want to eat food right now. My internship is really awesome because so far I've only had to pay for lunch one time a week. There is always some meeting on some floor in this building that is catered and its never all eaten. So some genius good Samaritan created a Facebook group for all employees to post on when there is food on their floor so the rest of us can share in the spoils. There have been no posts today so I am sad and my stomach is calling me bad names.

I think a lot about food. Why is food so good? Well, let me rephrase that. Why is good food so good? Cereal is a great food. Pizza, most the time, good. Cheeseburgers, hard to make a not-good cheeseburger. Gosh, I want a cheeseburger. I miss In-N-Out.

Let's talk about In-N-Out, because I'm thinking about it. In-N-Out has the best burger in the world. That isn't a thought, that's a fact. Everyone, all 4 of you (up one reader woohoo!) who just read that and think otherwise, you're wrong, and you smell. I think the most common retort to In-N-Out being the best is Five Guys. While they have great tasting burgers they still aren't as glorious as In-N-Out's. "But their fries are so much better!" That's nice, but we're not talking about fries sweetheart. Plus, I find it a little ridiculous and borderline unconstitutional that I should pay over $10 for a double cheeseburger meal. I also find the word "ridiculous" ridiculous. Back to the matter at hand though, In-N-Out is the best. Any person who has spent 6 weeks in New York for a summer internship might bring up Shake Shack as a contendor. Let me say this, no. You lived in New York for a short stint so you think you need to be as hipster and cynical as the rest of them out there and you fight back at simple truths. Simple truth = In-N-Out has the best cheeseburger known to man.  >_< = face of New York summer intern fighting back.

These are my thoughts as of right now. Some of you might be thinking, "Hey! Aren't you at work?  Shouldn't you be doing some actual work?" To you, mom, I say this is part of my work. Alright, my mom didn't say that. In fact, I am pretty sure that she isn't even aware of what a blog really is or that I have one. The great thing about being a copywriter at an advertising agency is they encourage anything that helps get our creative juices flowing. So if a funny YouTube video or sitting outside under the shade of a tree gets me creative, right on!

Final thoughts: Enjoy the 4th of July next week! It might be the best holiday of the whole year, I'm not sure, I'll have to think about that. I think I will spend it eating great food. Nope, I know I will be spending it eating great food. I think that is all for today. I just thought, "Man, I really need to end this blog post. Anyone who just read all of that probably hates me. Please don't hate me. I NEED TO BE LIKED!" Ok, bye.

I'm still not there

I know what all (3) of you are thinking. It has been a while since I have written on here. Well lay off me, I've been busy. A lot has happened to Manboy since you heard from me last.

1. I graduated from a four-year univeristy. Yeah, that happened. I don't ever have to sleep through another class again.

2. Me and my Womangirl traveled across the world and visited Taiwan, China, and Hong Kong. It was an amazing experience, mostly because I was with people that are the same size as me.

3. We moved to Chicago! I have officially started my new internship at Leo Burnett. I am a working Manboy.

Don't worry though. Even though I am doing all these adult things I can assure you that I will forever remain a Manboy and never officially grow up no matter how hard the world tries to make me.

Cereal is still my go to meal (Reese's Puffs, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Honey Nut Cheerios by the punch bowl). I still jump with excitement when I hear an ice cream truck. Legos interest me more than any magazine or book. I am constantly making sound effects (usually a fart or an explosion noise, sometimes a combination of the two). I am tempted to use the the handles as monkey bars on every train I step on. I make my wife race me. Clowns still legitimately scare me. 

So you see, I ain't growing up any time soon. 

That is all for now. Till next time (which will be soon, I promise). Go out and enjoy your summer. Sleep in, blow something up, or play video games all day. Just make sure you always have a couple bucks on you in case you hear the ice-cream truck down the street.

I've Got Nothing to Say

I have been struggling for the past few days trying to figure out what I should write about on here. Not a lot has come to my mind. I have been keeping super busy though. Still working my Manboy buns off to get my advertising portfolio right to where I want it to be. I don't want to just give up since I have an internship already lined up. I have found something I am so passionate about that I am willing to work hard on all the time, even though I could coast if I wanted to. Did you know I have a website for my portfolio? I have a link on my site that takes you to this blog but I don't think I have ever mentioned my site on here before. Here it is, natesteele.com. I just wanted to make sure you two knew about each other. If you already knew about my site there are some new things on there, like the Internet Explorer 9 campaign. Enjoy.

Here is something to write about: baseball. Baseball is a beautiful thing. I was born and raised in Southern California (anyone from there knows that you should never call it SOCAL, yuck!). Anyways, I have always been an Angels fan. They are a pretty legit team. ESPN Magazine ranked them #1 for getting bang for your buck the other year. Meaning, for how much the average ticket costs, you get the most out of them for how many times they win, the whole ballpark experience, and they even factored in food prices. Plus, we have Albert Pujols now, so that is going to be awesome. Unfortunately, I am convinced that the Angels have placed a curse on themselves. The curse of the name change.

The Angels started out as just the Los Angeles Angels. A little redundant for a city that literally means "the angels." Back when they first started in the early 60s, they were playing in a Los Angeles stadium. So, nothing wrong with that name. Then in '65, they became the California Angels and shortly after moved to Orange County (Anaheim). Sure why not? Back then there weren't a whole lot of California teams in the MLB. Why not have the best part of Southern California represent the whole state? Then Disney took over gave them awful uniforms and renamed them the Anaheim Angels. Fair enough, it is actually where they are located. This was probably the best name for them. They won the World Series with this name. Then something stupid happened. In 2005 they were renamed the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Now that doesn't make sense. Anaheim isn't in LA County. I believe this new owner and his crazy name change put a curse on them. I am convinced the Angels won't win another World Series until they change their name back to the Anaheim Angels.

Sorry if I bored you but if you hear "the curse of the name change" 50 years from now on Sports Center, know that you heard it hear first. Well, moving to Chicago, I guess I should get used to curses. Because the Cubs have gone 103 seasons without winning a World Series. I am really excited to spend a lot of time at Wrigley Field when we move out there. And maybe with a little bit of luck I can be there when the curse is broken. Up until a few weeks ago I could only imagine what that would be like. Thanks to the following commercial I have a better idea of how mind blowing it would be.

Questions of the Soul

I enjoy pondering. I like to ask questions. For example, how come Reese's Peanut Butter Cups Miniatures taste so much better than the regular sized ones? You know, questions of the soul. The following are some questions that might blow your mind. I am still picking up the smithereens (yeah, smithereens, what a great word...) Anyway, I am still picking them up of my own brain after asking myself these questions...

How come America is the only country with tornadoes? Seriously, when was the last time you heard about a tornado ripping apart some houses in Italy? How did we get stuck with these disasters? This is why I love California. No tornadoes. All we have to worry about out there is earthquakes, tsunamis, shark attacks, drought, and wildfires.

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats and not parachutes? I am willing to bet anything there a lot more people on planes that don't know how to fly than don't know how to swim. A majority of this country's flights don't even travel over large bodies of water anyways. Not to mention, the chances of you surviving a plane crash in the middle of an ocean are probably very slim. It really only happens if you're Tom Hanks and your about to make a two hour and twenty minute movie about becoming besties with a volleyball.

Why do we sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" when we are already at one? Seems kind of redundant. Another sports question (because I am such an athletic jock): why do they call them stands when they are made for sitting? I am sure there is some historical answer that I imagine an old man answering something like this, "Back in my day they didn't have seats in the stands at sporting events so you had to stand, like a poor person." Oh, did I mention this imaginary old man is an elitist?

Well, that's all I can think for right now. I'll let you know if any more ponderous thoughts creep into my brain.

Laters skaters.

Where The Wind Blows

As promised in my last post there is something big I need to announce.

Manboy and my Ladygirl are moving to Chicago! I have accepted an internship offer to Leo Burnett. I am super stoked for so many reasons.

Leo Burnett has been blowing up the advertising world. They were voted for #1 agency by Young Guns, a world wide competition for students and industry rookies. They were also voted top 30 agencies to work for in 2012 by AdAge. Check out the environment I'll be "working" in here.

They are the geniuses behind the Samsung commercials. This is one of my personal favorites. Written by a friend of mine who graduated from BYU last year, great work Chad. They also do those cute Cheez-It commercials, like this one. Leo Burnett has also been known to cause a little mayhem. That's right, those geniuses.

I have never been to Chicago. But, I am excited to go there. I have heard nothing but great things about it. All I know about it is they have that giant silver bean thing, which I want to climb. It's also windy, which is fine. It is home of the Chicago Cubs, I am convinced I will be there for when they break the curse of the billy goat. And, they have good hot dogs, which I will eat.

We are both very excited. I start in June so until then I will be stuck in Utah. Finally after years and years of work I have found my way out.

Late Night Rendezvous

First, before we dive into what this post is really about, can we just talk about how weird of a word "rendezvous" is. It looks like a word that is the result of throwing your fingers down on a keyboard all at once. I bet if you do that ten times, at least three of those times you'll spell rendezvous perfectly. This is how it should be spelled: rondayvoo. That would eliminate all confusion, for me at least.

Anyways, about this late night rendez.... you know what, I can't do it. From here on instead of using r... (that word), I am going to just say "meet up." So, about this late night meet up. I am referring to me meeting up with food. It seems the later in the night it is, the lower my standards for food get. Why is it that when it gets past 10 PM all I want to do is go to a drive through and get weird? And by get weird I mean order the most unhealthy things I can think of. Large amounts and certain foods that cause even me, Manboy, to be a little ashamed to eat.

Little Caesar's Pizza, yes those gross $5 pizzas. I know they aren't the best tasting, but for $5, and when few pizza places are still open late at night, it's hard to resist them. I have had several occasions where I have put away one whole pizza by my self. I am not ashamed. (Yes, I am.)

That ginger that everyone likes. That's right, I am talking about the queen of the dollar menu, Wendy. My usual order: 5 chicken nuggets with ranch dressing, chicken sandwich, medium fries, medium Dr. Pepper (or Coke) and of course a frosty. You always feel so much better entering that drive through than a half an hour after leaving it. It's usually just depression or questioning a lot of your life decisions. But, that 30 minute gap is worth it.

Del Taco. Now I know what you're thinking, what about Taco Bell? Listen, if you can eat a meal at Taco Bell and look me in the eye and tell me honestly you're glad you ate that, then I will reconsider. Del Taco isn't all that much better, but you can't get the cinnamon twists at Taco Bell without having to use a bathroom 7 minutes later. Best kept secret at The Del is The Double Del Cheeseburger. Trust me. Next time it's late and no one is around, go to Del Taco's drive through and treat yourself. You'll thank me.

Then of course when it's really late, we're talking pushing daylight late, there are always those golden arches guiding you home. That's right, even McDonald's has a fatty little place in my heart. A trip here should be reserved for when things are really dark and desperate in your life. You know the feeling. You go, you get something that sounds the least terrible, you don't even make eye contact with the worker, and you rush home. Half the time, I eat all of it on the way home just so I can destroy the evidence right away. If you find yourself there, emotionally and physically, don't be too dismayed. We've all been there. I recommend the chocolate chip cookies.

Well my faithful followers, I wish you the best. There will be a special announcement on here next time. No, it's not that. The only baby to announce is a food baby because it's late at night and I just left The Del.

GraduNate

See what I did there? I put my name in the title of the post. I'm pretty clever huh? But you already knew that. That's why you're reading this. Also because you are smart beautiful people, that's another reason why you are reading this.

So, you beautiful, smart, clever loving readers, what do you want to know about. Oh, my hand stands? They're going well. I am pleased to announce that I broke into double digits the other day. That's right, the 10 second hand stand. Although I have accomplished basically the highest honor in the sport, that's right it's a sport, I am going to be keeping things right side up for a while. After I broke my personal record I got greedy and wanted more. I was unfortunately in a terrible hand stand accident. I injured my leg on the globe in my family room when I toppled over. Luckily, my ladygirl did not get mad. Don't worry, I will be okay but I will be retiring for the time being.

Anyway, to the subject of this post: In a couple months, Manboy will be graduating from college. College! Last semester I sat down with my guidance counselor and she told me I was on track to graduate in April. I had to ask her if this was some sort of sick joke someone was paying her to lie to me about. I don't know why it feels so weird to hear about my graduation. I have been looking forward to this since the first time snow fell Winter 2005 in Provo. December 9th to be exact. Yeah, that's right, I'll never forget that date. It's the day I realized that going to school in Utah was going be a long journey.

Even though it's been a long time coming, it seems like graduation is coming faster than ever. Although it's a little scary to be leaving college, it's not scary at all to leave Provo. I won't miss the snow. I won't miss the parking situation. I won' t miss close-minded people. I won't miss the construction on every other road and on the one freeway for all the four years I have been here. I most definitely will not miss the terrible drivers (I'm not saying it's a Utah thing, they just all happen to have Utah plates).

What I will miss is the convenience of having all the people I know and love so close to me. After I graduate, it's off to a new city where I'll know no one, except Ladygirl, obviously. I will miss BYU, mainly the AdLab. For the first time... ever, I wake up and I want to go to class. I love the ad program and the professors in it. I will miss the certainty of being a student. Right now, I know what I'm doing. I'm a student. My future is uncertain. Sometimes I get a little nervous about it all. I guess all can do is follow the counsel of this amazing kid.

39 Million Dollars Well Spent

Well it happened. Yesterday hundreds of millions dollars was spent to show America advertisements, and that doesn't include production value. Hundreds of millions of dollars to promote products to hundreds of millions of people tuned in to watch a football game. It's very interesting idea when you think about it. Going into the advertising industry made yesterday quite an event for me. I have to admit there were many commercials that let me down. However, this made the truly great ads stand out even more. Below are my top picks. These are solely based on my opinion. I focused on three things; writing, artistic value, and memorability. They are in no particular order except for one. Let's just say I saved the best for last. 

This ad may not be the most popular but the idea was brilliant. It comes from a truly spectacular agency over in the Rockies, Crispin Porter & Bogusky (CPB). The ad is simple and gives you an inside look at the people behind the technology we sometimes take for granted on our phones. Plus I loved the little stab at Alec Baldwin at 0:19 (if you don't know what I am talking about Google News Search Alec Baldwin gets kicked off plane for playing words with friends). Good job CPB. They also had an amazing Hulu ad that I was tempted to put on this list as well just because there was an Arrested Development line in it. You can check out their other work here. 

Audi ran this commercial right after kickoff. It's simple, well executed, and takes a popular trend and completely destroys it. With the hash-tag #SoLongVampires displayed at the end thousands of tweets rolled in by the minute and hundreds per minute are still rolling in. Hats off to you Venables Bell & Partners. Check 'em out here.

Goodby Silverstein I think wins for best group of ads. This apocalyptic spot was put together so well. When you make fun of Ford and remind the human population Twinkies are the one food you can depend on for surviving the end of the world it just makes your ad that much sweeter. 

Goodby Silverstein's second Chevy ad which was a compilation of all the stunts they put the Sonic through. Each individual stunt alone could have been an amazing ad. I highly recommend you check each stunt out (fine, you lazies here they are: Chevy Sonic Skydive, Rob Dyrdek Chevy Sonic Kickflip, Chevy Sonic Bungee Jump, and Chevy Sonic OK Go Music Video). Check out more of Goodby Silverstein's work here.

Can it getter better than the 80s classic Ferris Bueller's Day Off? This Honda CR-V commercial comes pretty close. So many little things about this commercial brought big smiles to my face. For example, the stare down with the walrus at the museum reminded me of his walrus comment in the movie. For your information I have that entire monologue from the movie memorized, because I'm a boss. RPA did this little ditty along with the Jerry Seinfeld Acura commercial. Check out their stuff here.

Nothing really needs to be said about this ad. It speaks for itself. I hope one day to write like this. Commercials of this caliber are the reason I am getting into the industry. The geniuses at Wieden & Kennedy put this beautiful piece together. They are also the mad scientists behind the Old Spice campaign, yeah those guys. Their work.

Well that is my take on the biggest day in advertising. Of course there were other great commercials but these are my tops. If you think I completely botched this list comment and let me know. 

Observing Observations Observantly

I have noticed some things lately. Some good. Some not so good. But, I feel like most of the seven billion human people on this globe will agree with some or all of the following list:

- One of the most frustrating feelings ever: you have something stuck in your teeth, and for the life of you, you cannot get it out. Your tongue starts get sore from trying to get it out. And, if you think about it, your tongue is probably the farthest thing from floss that your body has to offer. Right when you feel like you're on the brink of dislodging this thing, your tongue feels like its about to fall out of your jaw, and at this exact moment, you make eye contact with someone. Now, this isn't weird, except for the fact your tongue is currently reaching all the way across your mouth, it's shoved up against your teeth making your lip/cheek look huge, and you have your head tilted totally sideways (as if gravity will assist you in getting this tiny morsel of food beat). So, now, you're sitting there staring at this person who is trying not to look at you, thinking, "Wow! This is weird. I've got Quasimodo staring at me." Because you're so focused you forget the fact that you're in public, you're looking at someone, and they're looking at you.

- Something terrible: wet socks. Ugh! Seriously, there is no article of clothing more uncomfortable while wet. If the socks get totally wet, you might as well be barefoot. Your feet get all cold, the socks never really dry until you get home, your feet get all pruney and start to absorb all the wet smelly sock-water...

- A little thing in life that gives you a feeling of victory: when you are walking outside on a rainy/ snowy day and you watch a small glob of snow or a giant rain drop fall right, not on, but right in front of you. It makes feel you invincible. How did I time my day so perfectly, that I was able to evade Mother Nature's sinister plan by exactly one second? For me it's usually one more second of contemplating whether or not I should leave the comfortable sanctuary of my bed. But back to the drop-- if that drop had landed on your head, it would have been a cold cruel joke that made you feel uncomfortable because you don't know where it came from. Only drips I want on this scalp are the scalding hot ones coming from my shower, thank you.

- This isn't so much a good thing or a bad thing as much as it is a reoccurring thought that I have every time I find myself in this situation: whenever I see a "Wet Paint" sign, I have the overwhelming desire to run up and put my hands all over it. (I am a four year old.)

- Another truly amazing feeling is when you roll into a giant parking lot, and even though there are four to five hundred peeps scouring the lot for a spot, you pull up to the person with by far the best spot, and snag it. Even though all those chumps were in the parking lot before you, some of them probably for a solid 15 minutes, you were in the right place at the right time. Also, might I suggest backing up into these spots. If you have the time, try backing up into the spot it will give you a good feeling when you leave the parking lot. You will find that, by not having to put your car in reverse, twisting your back all the way around, and worrying about the cars on either side of you, this will allow you to leave anywhere with a smile on your face. It will change everything for you. Your pants will fit better, your significant other will look hotter, and you'll ultimately feel smarter. Trust me, try it.

Well my good friends. Enjoy your week. I think my next post, or the one after that, will be about the biggest advertising day in the world. If you don't know what that is, you better ask someone who won't judge you.

The Future Was So Yesterday

First off, I want all my followers (all five of you, but I am sure you guys tell all your friends about me) to know that I recently broke my personal handstand record. Nine seconds! Yeah it's no big deal but that's three seconds more than my previous record. I will keep you all updated when I break into double digits.

Anyways, let's talk about this thing the future. It's a pretty scary word. It can't really be defined because unless you are Raven Symoné (from Disney's award winning show That's So Raven) you don't know what will happen in the future. Well in the next couple months my future will start to reveal itself to me (reveal was a bad choice of words, I regretted it the second I typed it out).

My whole life I have lived in segments. My teenager segment I was in high school, all I cared about was going to the beach, and eating Wendy's. Then I went on a mission and was in Asia for two years and I dreamt about Wendy's. Now I am in college and have been for the past four years and I work hard in school, because I actually enjoy what I am learning, and I am back to eating Wendy's again. But, the next segment of my life has yet to be determined.

It's a little scary but I am trying to stay positive, glass half full and all that jazz. Part of me is still thinking it's going to end up with me having to sell my body to science just to maintain the Wendy's lifestyle I am used to though.

Well I will keep everyone updated on my future, if there are things to keep you updated on. I am pretty sure Raven is unemployed at the moment so if anyone can help a Manboy out and give me her number I just need to know if I am in some way employed in the near future.

Things We Can Do Without

1. Short faucets - Next time you're in a bathroom washing your hands (which you should always do because you're a human who interacts with other humans and therefore it is a requirement to wash your hands after entering a bathroom, especially a public one). Anyways, next time you're washing your hands, take a moment and check out when your hands are under the water if they are touching/rubbing up against the back of the sink. The last place I want to put my hands I'm washing is up against the wall of a sink where other men who have recently done things are forced to touch as well. There should be a world-wide law against any faucet that doesn't reach out to the center of the sink. Any establishment found breaking this law will be punished to giving all bathroom users free food (or goods, like candy) until the violating sink is fixed.

2. Ice on the roads - This isn't helping anyone out. I personally am not affected too much by it because I am prepared and drive something with four-wheel drive. Something I don't comprehend is when people drive around their half-wheel drive Toyotas in snow storms. I am convinced I am pushing my luck sticking around Utah this long. (I have been t-boned once already and ice wasn't even involved in that incident.) I figure, more logical than asking Utah drivers to learn how to drive or drive in safer vehicles, would be to just ask ice to stop forming on roads.

3. Snakes

4. Large potato chip bags - You're not fooling anyone, we all know that you're 75% air.

5. Sugar-free anything - Probably the worst feature to advertise for any product. Sugar free Oreos? I don't think you get who your consumers are. They are buying Oreos, they threw out nutritional benefits long ago. Don't be ashamed of who you are.

That Just Happened

In case any of you are doubting that I, Manboy, am in fact a superhero. Quit your hating, here is a list of my superpowers and achievements

I can eat a Café Rio burrito in under two minutes. I once bowled a 227. Jimmer Fredette once checked out my wife. I was Defensive player of the year when I played linebacker for my undefeated football team. I have had 12 surgeries on two toes. I got paid $100 to switch seats on a plane. I am completely 100% tone deaf. I once coached Mark Sanchez. I broke my arm swinging on a vine. I made Phil Dunphey from Modern Family laugh. I can’t be in the same room as a snake. I’ve snuck backstage at 5 concerts. I had my marriage announced at an In-N-Out Burger. I’ve been photographed and mistaken for Matt Damon, Joe Jonas, and Leonardo DiCaprio none whom I feel I resemble in the slightest (I'm much better looking than all of them). I’ve out run and out smarted a cop. I’ve thrown a hat like a Frisbee from 10 yards away and had it land perfectly on a friend’s head. I’ve hugged Conan O’Brien. I can juggle 3 items while balancing on a balance board. I’ve successfully prevented, my turtle, from committing suicide on several occasions. I’ve starred in a commercial for a knock off brand of Chef Boyardee. I've written for the Daily Show. I get free sodas for life.

It's that thing when like . . .

I want my readers (all 4 of you, 1 of whom is my wife) to know what kind of a person Manboy is - you know, on the inside.

We’ll start with some simple things. Likes and dislikes.

Like – I am really into hand stands, you know, that thing where you literally stand on your hands. My record is 6 seconds. Yeah, I am pretty boss.

Dislike – The Kardashians. Unfortunately, my Womangirl enjoys watching their TV show. These girls are probably the dumbest people on Television and that’s including the cast of the Jersey Shore.

Like – Dr. Pepper. It can turn any bad day right around. Coke is, of course, right there too. Enough said.

Dislike – Terrible commercials. Now, I know I am just an advertising student and my work is not spectacular, but some of the work that makes it to TV literally hurts my heart. I am sure that some of you saw some holiday sale commercials where they took a classic Christmas carol and changed the words to promote a giant sale. These companies paid a lot of money to produce these things and the best they could come up with is “It’s the most wonderful SALE of the year…” I vow that if I ever get the opportunity to work on any commercials I will never stoop to such a low level of creativity. It’s just lazy. Anyway. On to something that I like.

Like – Pinterest. I don’t get on there and pin but if you are lucky like Manboy and have a Womangirl who is mildly obsessed with Pinterest, you know what I am talking about. The genius that started this site deserves a huge hug. Not that I ever went hungry before Pinterest overtook our kitchen, but I have never enjoyed such a delicious variety of food until my wife got hooked on this site. If your own personal Womangirl enjoys food blogs, good, because they are the gateway drugs to Pinterest. This is good: encourage her. Soon you will be rolling in delicious chicken bacon sandwiches, peach cobblers, and Nutella hot chocolate. Pinterest, I love you.

Dislike – Stairs, there are always too many of them.

Like – Coming back from being out of town and finding you have gas in your car and good food in your cupboard (Peppermint Joes Joes from Trader Joes. Maybe that is why they are called Joe Joes? Because they are form Trader Joes... I literally just put that together… Wow, I should be on the Kardashians).

Dislike – I don’t like how Hollywood cannot come up with anything original. Everything lately is either based on a book or a play, a sequel, or a remake from something 10 years ago. Sometimes I think the people writing these terrible commercials work in Hollywood as well.

Like – My wife, who fixes my typos and allows me to refer to her as Womangirl.

Until next time people keep your heads on your shoulders.

Who Wants Seconds?

When I stopped writing on my last blog, I was pleasantly surprised to hear from more than two people that they missed my posts. So I'm back! What else would be more uplifting in the dark months of the winter than the rantings of an abnormally skinny lad who eats too much junk food and is still trying to figure out his future?

Like with my last blog, I am sure this will turn into a venue for how I view the world, but since I am trying to make it as a copywriter in the advertising industry, I won't just focus on things that bother me. I'll try to balance it out with things that inspire me and make me happy too. You guys don't want me to just complain the whole time, do you? I didn't think so.

The main reason I wanted to start blogging again is because of something Billy Crystal taught me as a young boy. In the 1987 family classic, "Throw Mama From the Train," Billy Crystal's character Larry, a writer, said something that has stuck with me: "Remember, a writer writes always." Since I claim I want to become a professional copywriter, I need to start acting like I have something to say.

I will try my hardest to write in here a couple times a week. Only thing that will stop me is severe illness, deportation, or death (which will most likely come from some crazy Utah driver driving a one-wheel-drive Subaru). There, I was able to squeeze in a quick little complaint. Hope you're happy, you sickos.

Anyway, it feels good to be back and I look forward to what 2012 has in store. Manboy out.