Things We Can Do Without

1. Short faucets - Next time you're in a bathroom washing your hands (which you should always do because you're a human who interacts with other humans and therefore it is a requirement to wash your hands after entering a bathroom, especially a public one). Anyways, next time you're washing your hands, take a moment and check out when your hands are under the water if they are touching/rubbing up against the back of the sink. The last place I want to put my hands I'm washing is up against the wall of a sink where other men who have recently done things are forced to touch as well. There should be a world-wide law against any faucet that doesn't reach out to the center of the sink. Any establishment found breaking this law will be punished to giving all bathroom users free food (or goods, like candy) until the violating sink is fixed.

2. Ice on the roads - This isn't helping anyone out. I personally am not affected too much by it because I am prepared and drive something with four-wheel drive. Something I don't comprehend is when people drive around their half-wheel drive Toyotas in snow storms. I am convinced I am pushing my luck sticking around Utah this long. (I have been t-boned once already and ice wasn't even involved in that incident.) I figure, more logical than asking Utah drivers to learn how to drive or drive in safer vehicles, would be to just ask ice to stop forming on roads.

3. Snakes

4. Large potato chip bags - You're not fooling anyone, we all know that you're 75% air.

5. Sugar-free anything - Probably the worst feature to advertise for any product. Sugar free Oreos? I don't think you get who your consumers are. They are buying Oreos, they threw out nutritional benefits long ago. Don't be ashamed of who you are.