That Just Happened

In case any of you are doubting that I, Manboy, am in fact a superhero. Quit your hating, here is a list of my superpowers and achievements

I can eat a Café Rio burrito in under two minutes. I once bowled a 227. Jimmer Fredette once checked out my wife. I was Defensive player of the year when I played linebacker for my undefeated football team. I have had 12 surgeries on two toes. I got paid $100 to switch seats on a plane. I am completely 100% tone deaf. I once coached Mark Sanchez. I broke my arm swinging on a vine. I made Phil Dunphey from Modern Family laugh. I can’t be in the same room as a snake. I’ve snuck backstage at 5 concerts. I had my marriage announced at an In-N-Out Burger. I’ve been photographed and mistaken for Matt Damon, Joe Jonas, and Leonardo DiCaprio none whom I feel I resemble in the slightest (I'm much better looking than all of them). I’ve out run and out smarted a cop. I’ve thrown a hat like a Frisbee from 10 yards away and had it land perfectly on a friend’s head. I’ve hugged Conan O’Brien. I can juggle 3 items while balancing on a balance board. I’ve successfully prevented, my turtle, from committing suicide on several occasions. I’ve starred in a commercial for a knock off brand of Chef Boyardee. I've written for the Daily Show. I get free sodas for life.