- One of the most frustrating feelings ever: you have something stuck in your teeth, and for the life of you, you cannot get it out. Your tongue starts get sore from trying to get it out. And, if you think about it, your tongue is probably the farthest thing from floss that your body has to offer. Right when you feel like you're on the brink of dislodging this thing, your tongue feels like its about to fall out of your jaw, and at this exact moment, you make eye contact with someone. Now, this isn't weird, except for the fact your tongue is currently reaching all the way across your mouth, it's shoved up against your teeth making your lip/cheek look huge, and you have your head tilted totally sideways (as if gravity will assist you in getting this tiny morsel of food beat). So, now, you're sitting there staring at this person who is trying not to look at you, thinking, "Wow! This is weird. I've got Quasimodo staring at me." Because you're so focused you forget the fact that you're in public, you're looking at someone, and they're looking at you.
- Something terrible: wet socks. Ugh! Seriously, there is no article of clothing more uncomfortable while wet. If the socks get totally wet, you might as well be barefoot. Your feet get all cold, the socks never really dry until you get home, your feet get all pruney and start to absorb all the wet smelly sock-water...
- A little thing in life that gives you a feeling of victory: when you are walking outside on a rainy/ snowy day and you watch a small glob of snow or a giant rain drop fall right, not on, but right in front of you. It makes feel you invincible. How did I time my day so perfectly, that I was able to evade Mother Nature's sinister plan by exactly one second? For me it's usually one more second of contemplating whether or not I should leave the comfortable sanctuary of my bed. But back to the drop-- if that drop had landed on your head, it would have been a cold cruel joke that made you feel uncomfortable because you don't know where it came from. Only drips I want on this scalp are the scalding hot ones coming from my shower, thank you.
- This isn't so much a good thing or a bad thing as much as it is a reoccurring thought that I have every time I find myself in this situation: whenever I see a "Wet Paint" sign, I have the overwhelming desire to run up and put my hands all over it. (I am a four year old.)
- Another truly amazing feeling is when you roll into a giant parking lot, and even though there are four to five hundred peeps scouring the lot for a spot, you pull up to the person with by far the best spot, and snag it. Even though all those chumps were in the parking lot before you, some of them probably for a solid 15 minutes, you were in the right place at the right time. Also, might I suggest backing up into these spots. If you have the time, try backing up into the spot it will give you a good feeling when you leave the parking lot. You will find that, by not having to put your car in reverse, twisting your back all the way around, and worrying about the cars on either side of you, this will allow you to leave anywhere with a smile on your face. It will change everything for you. Your pants will fit better, your significant other will look hotter, and you'll ultimately feel smarter. Trust me, try it.
Well my good friends. Enjoy your week. I think my next post, or the one after that, will be about the biggest advertising day in the world. If you don't know what that is, you better ask someone who won't judge you.
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